we are having an honest conversation about what's really holding you back from relocating? What are the excuses and how can you break free. Welcome to starting over in the USA, the Expat Woman's Guide to overcoming homesickness, embracing cultural differences, and creating a new home away from home. On this podcast, we talk about leaving behind the familiar, you know, the pangs of homesickness and culture shock to the journeys of reinventing yourself. I'm Yolanda Reshemah. And after relocating six times, I know firsthand what it's like to start from scratch, feeling like both a foreign child and a foreign adult in a new world. In today's episode, we're talking about something every expat or immigrant woman faces, even before the suitcase is packed, or the visa is stamped. It's the excuses, the doubts, and the fears, first is the security and safety issue. Is it even safe to go right now? Second what if I can't handle all the adulting? The third what if I mess it up? Final excuse is, how do people afford this? You will discover life hacks and strategies for dealing with these and how you can take back control and make decisions that are right for you. We're going to get real about the invisible walls that stop so many brave, brilliant women from starting over in another country. All the reasons we tell ourselves why not now, why we shouldn't do it Now, this is the wrong time. The circumstances aren't right. Why we shouldn't risk it, and yet buried beneath is often a quiet longing that kind of whispers, what if you did it anyway? Within reason. So whether you are still dreaming about moving abroad or you've already relocated and are trying to make sense of your decision, this episode is for you. Now. I want you to hear me clearly. These aren't silly fears. They're not weaknesses. These excuses, they're often rooted in very real concerns. Concerns that are shaped by the world we live in and the stories we've told ourselves. But today, I want to help you see them for what they are. Barriers that you can dismantle one courageous step at a time. Within reason there's definitely political strife and economic strife, and the struggles going on in so many countries that feels out of our control, understandably and you do have to pay attention to what's coming out from the global headlines and your gut instincts as well. We are not discounting those, but for the things that we can manage, let's tackle those. And the first is, let's talk about safety. Let's start with the one thing that makes your stomach drop when you scroll through the news. That is, is it even safe to move to the US right now? We've heard from school shootings to racial tensions to polarized politics, the headlines can be enough to shut the door on your dreams, understandably, and it's fair to pause and ask, am I going to feel safe there? You should ask yourself that wherever you are going but let me offer you this. Safety isn't a country. It's a strategy. And when I say that I am not discounting the challenges that so many people are experiencing, whether it's the US or anywhere else in the world, you have got to pay attention and consider what's right for you. Safety isn't a country. It is a strategy. It's where you live. It's who you surround yourself with. It's being informed, it's being proactive and plugged in. So wherever you find yourself, wherever you are considerably moving to, and there are so many countries around the world right now that are considered terribly, terribly safe. But even in those environments, you still ought to have a safety strategy about where you live, the people you need to surround yourself with, how are you gonna stay informed and proactive and plugged in? So here are three life hacks, on my experiences, based on what I have done, but also what I did not do. The first is research your cities and the neighborhoods before you move. This is where I fell down. When my husband and I moved to the us we knew we wanted to go to the West coast, but we did not research the neighborhoods and the towns before we moved in. We didn't realize that we would need to, to understand who are the people there, what's the tone and the style of life like we looked at it through a tourist's eyes. Researching is so easy to do right now. Get online, check out the neighborhoods. Join forums, ask questions. The second life hack is connect with local immigrants and expat forums. The third ask women who've already made the move, what help them to feel grounded and to feel safe. You just need enough security to take the next step, one after another, and feel absolutely secure about doing so. The second excuse is the fear of being fully responsible. For example, what if I can't handle this on my own? The truth? It will feel hard sometimes. You are going to miss the ease of your old routine. You'll miss knowing where to go and what to say and who to call, but you are going to surprise yourself. You'll learn how to file forms. You'll learn how to make doctor's appointments. You'll find your way through airports and grocery stores and job interviews, and it might be in a foreign language as well. Here's your life hacks. Three life hacks. The first thing I learned to do when moving to the us moving to France was to Build a checklist of first things that you need to conquer. I'm talking about bank accounts, phone plans, and apartments. The second is ask for help. I. I mean it. Ask that neighbor. Ask the librarian. Again, Find some online forums. Ask them, go to the local coffee shops. I. Ask the people around you. And the third is that you should celebrate small wins. I've mentioned this before and I'm gonna keep coming back to it because it's so important. This is how you build confidence in yourself and feel able and know that you are more than capable. The other excuse is what if I mess up? The truth is that you will. I did big time and so does everybody else. You'll say the wrong words. You'll get lost. You'll fill out the wrong forms. And guess what? This is how you learn. This is how I learn. So here's your three life hacks in getting over this fear of messing it up. First thing is to keep a, I call it a funny failure journal, me, but trust me, it'll be gold three years on, when you read through that and you look at the stuff that you've done, you are going to laugh, but you're going to look back at yourself and consider, oh my gosh, look how far I've come. The second life hack is talk to somebody who's a few years ahead, ask them what they messed up on. And that's why we are having these conversations with expat and immigrant women who moved to the US so many years ago. They're telling us the things that they messed up on, the mistakes they made, assumptions they made so that you can hear about it and learn from it. And the third is that you really ought to normalize your mistake. Every stumble is proof that you are in motion, keep downloading and listening to these chats we are having with expat and immigrant women and men who have been living abroad for many years and have made so many errors. The last excuse that I'm going to tackle in this episode is a big one. The big heavy fear of money. What if I can't afford this? It's a very valid concern and let's not pretend otherwise, but financial risk isn't a reason to give up. It's a reason to plan wisely. My husband and I planned I think a good six months to a year well in advance. We knew when we were going to start working and we knew the length of time over which we would need to cover ourselves financially. Your first of three life hats to tackle the what if I can't afford this? Is to create a dream move budget, including your visa fees, your housing, and your whole transition expenses, and then add 20% on top of that because there's bound to be stuff that pop up that you have not planned for. The second life hack is to start small, maybe try a short term stay three months, six months, six weeks before you move for a year or 10 years. Also consider moving to a city with lower cost of living. And the last life hack if you're going to start a new business, look for grants. Consider the chances of you being eligible for those, but also consider remote jobs that can travel with you so you have a steady income. You don't need to have everything figured out and even in the perfect plan, you'll find that you still do not have everything figured out. You just need a plan that you can trust. It's okay to feel cautious. You absolutely should, but don't let fear silence your calling to start over. A new beginning doesn't ask for perfection. You don't need to look for perfection. Yes, be safe, but you need also to be willing otherwise, it will never happen. I think that's it from me today. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm inviting you to download episode 17. Why pushing through culture Shock is toxic advice for expat immigrant women. I'm heading out right now for a walk in the park because summer has finally arrived in England. I'll see you in the next episode. Bye-bye.