You are going to hear how mindset, education, and community can turn your culture shock into a legacy. I welcome to starting over in the USA, the Expat Woman's Guide to overcoming homesickness, embracing cultural differences, and creating a new home away from home. On this podcast, we talk about leaving behind the familiar, you know, the pangs of homesickness and culture shock to the journeys of reinventing yourself. I'm Yolanda Reshemah. And after relocating six times, I know firsthand what it's like to start from scratch, feeling like both a foreign child and a foreign adult in a new world. I want you to meet my guest, Samira, a trailblazing immigrant woman who arrived in the USA in 1969 and build a life of legacy, leadership and belonging. Samir's story is a masterclass. In mindset. Pay close attention to every single word this woman is sharing. I my name is Samira Kawar, and originally I'm from the country of Jordan. Which is very close to Jerusalem in the Middle East. How did you come to be in the us? Our life was going well in Jordan. In 1968, my husband was invited by the federal government to come to the United States'cause he was a scientist. They, wanted to bring scientists from all over the world to America because there was shortage of them here. So we came under that visa, and the embassy called us and they asked us if we want to, to come accept the invitation. And we really gave it much thought. And then finally we decided to come. And if it doesn't work, we always can go back. And we are still here. Since 1968. What role does Jordan play in your life these days? I go back and forth a lot. I used to go more often. Now every few years I go. I have a good family usually I like to be with my brother there. He was minister of transportation in Jordan. He just passed away last year. I have sister and I have cousins, it's very close, intimate family. There is love there. So it's very important to be close to your family. Hmm. Um, I'm hearing a very tender moment that many of us immigrant women know so well. That ache of leaving behind not just a place, but a vital part of who we are, something that we cannot pack or take with us, and something that we can't replicate. It sounds, understandably. Like you really miss life there. Can you tell me some more about what life was like growing up? It was simpler than these days. We have lots of toys, as children playing together and spend time. We are the type of, my father had a village or the family, the whole family. Had a village in Jordan where summertime we used to go and attend the harvest time and see the caterpillars are harvesting the wheat and just having, great time that really very few children have that privilege. I went to private schools. It was a French school in Jordan. You have to learn English, French, and Arabic fluently. They offer the science programs and it's just very good high standard school. I graduated from that high school. Generally speaking, it was a good life. I went to a boarding school. Near Jerusalem. And that was excellent experience. It was American school, the first school in the Middle East, co-education. So that was my childhood. When you think of home, does Jordan still come to mind? Where do you feel most rooted? It is home, but when I came to this country, I also called this home. You can't live in a country where you keep grieving about going home because you can't establish yourself in a foreign country in a good way. To look at the positive things, what American gave me, Jordan can't give, like it was a continuation of developing myself. And when I was there in Jordan, we didn't have any universities yet. When I came here to this country, even though I finished high school, I started to go to the university immediately. I didn't really waste time because I looked around here, I said, Samira, without having good education here, I will be kind of feeling a foreigner all the time. You know, I'm wondering if this is where things started shifting for you shaping your life to so that you can feel more at home. And you did this through education, and you did it intentionally as well. I, I, I have I found that being at the university is the best place to be. They have great opportunities in this country. You can't get along with the society here. And I should speak their language. I should melt into their society. Other than that, I will be kind of feeling a foreigner all the time. When I went to college, I was stunned. How come many students, really don't appreciate what they have here? They don't know what they are offered here. They didn't have that experience being in a country where there is no college I was just jumping from happiness and I just want to get everything I can from education. And I did. I did very well does that not still feel quite incredible to you? Because for any woman listening wondering how to find her footing, this sounds like a wonderful blueprint. It says education isn't just a credential, it's, it's a bridge to belonging. And the proof of it is sitting in front of me. That feels incredible to me. Very kind of you for any woman who immigrates to another country, especially coming to the United States where the doors are open for them for education. Women should look into being educated here in this country, even if they had degree in their own land, they can have more education here to blend with the university education to blend with the society here too. It's just a very strong feeling that you belong to university, educated people. They are counseling you and being with you in the classroom. And it just an amazing good feeling of your accomplishing something. I, I, I have to pinpoint this, which was very important during my education, the encouragement that I got from the professors. They're always encouraging, always with you. Lifting you up. And that was a point where, I just looked and this is amazing where you have that big support. Do you think your path would've looked different if you'd stayed in Jordan, or do you feel your drive would've found a way. Regardless? I know myself since high school that I was able to accomplish things I graduated with honor from my high school so I know I have that potential, I went to a college in Jerusalem but there was political, rising up all the time, demonstrations, and so I couldn't really continue. I have to go back to Jordan, during those years, I got married. Through my husband, I was able to come to America. I have the potential, I have the ability, but I don't think I will have the opportunity in Jordan to accomplish what I accomplished in America. Everyone in the world is looking for being in a college in America, especially in Jordan. The door is open for me and I entered the door immediately. I really didn't waste time. Hmm. Many people come, they may not have the resources to go into education, so they prioritize finding a job, earning money, settling down, become secure. You recommend, pursue and prioritize education. Yeah, because this is where they put you on an executive, level of any job. If you don't have the degree and the education, you go, you work as, as union worker. Mm-hmm. Which I will not accept that at that time, knowing what are my desires and abilities. So I pursued education and I did very well. I had no difficulty in any subject. I'd rather, have, specialized in physics, but I couldn't because I needed the job. So this is what I did, I enjoyed my job, I really loved it. I can say I was the first woman to be hired in financial planning at Kaiser. There was no woman before. uhhuh. You are a trailblazer. I was just happy I totally belong here. Now I am accomplishing something very important in my life. You don't look back at the things there in Jordan'cause there is something important that you're doing for yourself and establishing a new life. Was the US ever part of your vision for the future before that invitation came? No. But we moved to Europe. We were going to Europe often. Germany, England, Austria, Holland, from Jordan, we used to travel. But not America. No, I've never been to America and when I came here I don't think I like it very much compared to Europe. It was like a huge country that I can get lost very easily. It's lots of freeways. It's just too big for me. No intimacy, just being like a lost person. I didn't know anyone. When I came here to Oakland it was tough at the beginning. It wasn't easy. What emotions did starting over throw at you that you just didn't expect? Loneliness. Difficulty to go around. There was lots of challenges here, mainly loneliness and not know my way around. I don't know what to expect in the future. Living in an apartment here at the beginning, that was big challenge for me. like a big step down compared to the charm of the physical environment where you used to live? Yeah, because I lived in an environment there, my husband's family and my family, he was a physician. He had lots of respect and status there we had, lots of, advantages his father was a physician. My father was deputy mayor. That was a big challenge for me, that I don't have all this now, now I'm here. Nobody knows you. You are one of anyone, and that doesn't really matter much, but deep inside, I'm lost. But the university professors, were so nice that they took all that feeling away from me because they treated me as a guest. They invited me to their homes. Thanksgiving always. They invite me to their homes. Christmas. I never had Thanksgiving or Christmas party for many years because I'm always with them..They always tell me, we look at you. We want to know your family. Sometimes it's the unexpected people who show up for us and surround us, but they became the community of people who supported you. It was, It was nice. Were there spaces or relationships that helped you feel more at home? Um. Yeah, of course. The best place really to be here in a, in a church. Church, church, the people are so friendly, they can really adopt you. They gave me so much love and attention and care up till now. I have good friends. this is what I'm taking away from part one of our discussion. I see this woman as a fantastic role model. I value her experience in the fact that she is sharing everything from her heart so freely. She didn't just wait for belonging to find her. She built it through education and community and a mindset that said, everything is on the plate. I have prepared myself. I have come with gifts and skills and abilities, but I'm not going to assume that I have all that I need. I'm going to pursue every opportunity that comes my way. I'm going to grab it, aim as high as I possibly can. She reminds us that grief and growth can coexist, and that's starting over it doesn't mean starting small, it's starting strategically. So if you are listening from a place of loneliness or cultural disorientation, you are not behind. Like Samira, you have every right to walk through the door. That's it from me today, Samira, and I will be back for part two next week. Bye-bye.