what if resilience isn't just about pushing through, but about knowing when it is time to choose a different kind of life. In today's episode, we are going to explore that turning point, and I'm not referring to moving to the USA, I am talking about when it time return to your country of origin. Welcome to starting over in the USA, the Expat Woman's Guide to overcoming homesickness, embracing cultural differences, and creating a new home away from home. On this podcast, we talk about leaving behind the familiar, the pangs of homesickness and culture shock to the journeys of reinventing yourself. I'm Yolanda Reshemah. And after relocating six times, I know firsthand what it's like to start from scratch, feeling like both a foreign child and a foreign adult in a new world. Hello, expat woman. Today I am going to share a conversation I had with another expat woman who after 20 years abroad realized that true courage isn't only about surviving corporate battles or proving herself in a foreign country like the USA, but it's about honoring the family, reclaiming belonging, redefining success on her own terms. In this episode, I am inviting you to reflect on what resilience really means to you and how to recognize when it's time to pivot yourself towards a life that is more in tune to your evolving values. A couple of days ago I phoned a friend of mine I've met in the last three years through a mutual friend, it was lovely to speak with her since I've been back in the US and said, oh, hi. She shall remain nameless of course, let's meet up on Sunday. But she said, oh, I can't on Sunday. Because i'm going back to England after 20 years. That's it. I think I'm done. I'm finished. I've done Napa, the whole wine country. I've done everything I needed to do. And now it's time for me to go back home. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting to chat with my friend and arrange a date for dinner at my house. Put the world to right. And here we are. She's about to go back home. I said to her, why are you going back? What's happened? What have I missed since I've been away? She went on to share that my mom's been sick. I need to be there for that process. I want to be around my family. I want to be able to cook Sunday roast and have my family come over. I want to roam around town on a double decker bus and take the tube and have the different foods in the culture. I want to be somewhere where I'm only one hour away from another country, I wanna be able to, if I choose, go to the south of France for the winter months to get away from the Great Clouds of England and just chill out. I want the other choices, but most of all, it's time for me to give back to my family. I've been here in the US for 20 years, she said. So I'm going back, I'm going to spend Christmas over there. Then I'll come back and I'm packing up the house and we are off. I couldn't argue with that, we haven't known each other very long, but I'm gonna miss her. The other thing she went on to say was corporate America is not for the faint-hearted. She's an excellent woman, very classy, highly educated, but she said corporate America is not for the faint hearted. There's always somebody pointing out how different you are and why you shouldn't be there, regardless of what race you might be or the different languages you speak. But the thing is, it's not a sad story because for the past 20 years, this excellent expat woman has worked around it, stepped over it, and conquered it. Now she has decided there's far more to life than just contending with these people. I don't need to be an expat for the rest of my life. And it just reminded me that for us expat women, we are often required to be so incredibly resilient and I applaud her for her resilience. I love it. I have a great deal of respect for her choice. She can stand up and say, i've had enough. I've filled my cup. I have built the house. And now I'm going to move on. I'm going to have a different quality of life that suits me. I am going to downsize and live a more minimalistic lifestyle. I'm going to travel more and carry less. What I want now in life is something new, something different, I don't wanna say that she's brave because I think it's far more than that. It's about honor, it's about duty, to give up much of what you've acquired in the last 20 years. She's taken the essentials and her husband is with her, and that's all that matters. Here's the takeaway. Resilience is absolutely essential, right? But resilience isn't just about enduring, it's also about recognizing when it's time to let go time to redefine success for that next chapter of our lives. Knowing when it is time to stop striving and intentionally choose a life that honors family culture and personal wellbeing is absolutely priceless. My friend is choosing to belong to her roots. She's choosing quality over accumulation. I am using my friend's experience as an example of five signs that showed up in her life that indicated it was time for her to go home. The first is an insatiable longing for your family connections. You wanna be present for your aging parents, but you also miss Sunday meals together with the family and you are looking forward to new everyday rituals in your original country. The second is that cultural pull down to the point of missing your transport system. If that isn't an indicator, then I don't know what is. Third is feeling done with your life here in the USA, a sense of completion? I've built the house, my cup is filled, just like my friend said. Realizing that navigating your workplace biases and all the other issues, it's just mentally draining. It can never, and will never be healthy for you. Wanting simplicity, traveling lighter, valuing experiences with your family more than you value accumulation. I've got a couple of tips about transitioning smoothly. The first is about planning intentionally setting yourself a timeline. My friend gave herself four weeks to check out England, be with the family, figure out where she'd want to be, and then come back and pack things up. There is some structure to her thinking. The other tip is letting go of what no longer serves you for your next chapter. And seeing this transition, not as a loss or failure, but an act of duty, honor, or self respect. For us, expat women who have immigrated, we spend a lot of our time figuring out how to jump through the hoops of culture shock and homesickness. Cultural differences, experiences of loneliness and isolation, finding the tools and strategies to go through those things. The other realization for me is that I'm going to miss somebody that I had hoped to spend more time with. I want my friend to be happy, but I'm going to miss her. And so there is a line of sadness already, even though it hasn't yet happened. I'm already anticipating being in the US without her presence. Would you agree that resilience is also about recognizing what it's time to let go, what do you think? Drop me a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy the rest of your day bye-bye.