It's Wednesday today. That means sitting with another fabulous expat woman from across the ocean. You are going to hear me and my special guest talk about that quiet question who am I now that I've moved from my country of origin? Keep listening. Welcome to starting over in the USA, the Expat Woman's Guide to overcoming Homesickness, embracing cultural Differences, and creating a new home away from home. Hey, expat woman. I'm back. My first guest recording in 2026. It's been a while. I have been absent and you know, I, I really try not to be, but sometimes life just happens, especially when you've got a family and you've got kids and you throw some traveling in the mix there. But I hope I haven't lost you. Stay with me today we are meeting the fabulous Trish Bose, the question is, who am I now that I've moved to the USA has relocating changed me as well as other questions? What pulled you to the USA and was it worth it? Oh, he, she's now. Hi Trish. I was just having a little chat with my expat friends out there. Yeah, no worries. Thank you so much for joining me. It's a pleasure to record with you. I always remind expat guests share what you are comfortable sharing. Does that sound okay? Sounds amazing. I'm a pretty open book, so it would be rare to be like, what do I not wanna share? So how about we start, first of all. With, um, introducing yourself mm-hmm. So that they can just get to know you a little bit. My name is Trish Bose and I'm originally from Australia. I grew up in a small town outside of Melbourne, in a beautiful part of the country. It's funny, I look back now and I'm like, it's so beautiful. But I remember being a kid growing up in this small town and being like, I just wanna get outta here. If I were to travel with you to Australia, what would you want me to see? what would we do? I keep hearing that Australia's gorgeous, Melbourne's lovely, try Adelaide, try Perth. So yeah, I grew up in a town in the Yarra Valley called Hillsville, Which had about 10,000 people. And so it's about maybe like an hour, hour and a half out of Melbourne. Um, so it's, it's a quiet, sleepy town and you drive through it. It has a main street which has a lot of shops since I grew up, it's very different. It's become a lot more bougie. They've got like wine tasting rooms, they've got a gin distillery. Like it's become super fancy from the days when I grew up, when it just had like a couple of fish and chip shops and bakeries and things like that. But what I would do now when I go back is because it is all about the nature and where I specifically grew up was in an area called Badger Creek, which is part of Hillsville badger Creek. Badger Creek. I know because there was a lot of um, Australian animals called wombats. And the settlers, I guess, thought that they were badgers, but they're actually wombats. But they called it Badger Creek'cause they didn't know what a wombat was. There's this famous Australian animal sanctuary it's called the Hillsville Sanctuary, they rehabilitate a lot of Australian animals because there's so much nature right there. Yeah, it's really about being with family, um, enjoying nature, enjoying good food, good wine, bush walking and all the good stuff. It sounds ideal. It sounds like the sort of place everybody would want to raise their kids you said Bushwalk? Bush walking. We call hiking in Australia, Bush walking. So it's funny when I moved to the US and I'd be like, oh, you wanna go like bush walking and people are like, what is that? Because everything here is hiking. So we should go bush walking. How long have you been here in the us? Yeah. I moved to the US in August, 2010. And I spent six years in LA to then moved to New York and then I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. I and then I moved to Marin in 2021. Let's talk about settling into America. What stood out to you as a new arrival? Were you impressed? Disappointed? How did you feel in those early days? I moved for work, so the company I worked for in Melbourne had an office in Santa Monica. The good thing was I moved knowing I had a job. I had like basic, you know, a network in a sense, you have a job, you get to meet coworkers and all of that was great. But I think as well, landing in LA, you see the palm trees, the sunshine, you see everything from the movies and you are like, this is incredible. And it was like, I've arrived and I remember the little things too, around happy hour, which isn't just one hour, I couldn't believe how expensive alcohol was. So, I mean, I was in my mid twenties and I was like, this is incredible. And you know, food was so cheap, those were, the initial things that I was like, I can't believe just how easy it felt with some of those things. Great weather. Easy to go out, grab food. It was amazing. One of the things I found harder was, the workplace dynamic or the workplace mentality that was a little bit different in Australia. Like, I feel like at the office in Australia on Fridays, we'd go out for long lunches and have fun. Yeah. And we worked hard. And we played hard. But I would say maybe just my initial impression was that it was initially harder to make a family here at a deeper level than in Australia. I'm still friends with many of my coworkers but there was that initial reluctance, you know, in Australia, especially in Melbourne, when the weather's good, everyone wants to go out any day of the week. But here it felt like, oh, well, you know, based on the traffic or what we've got planned, it just all felt a little bit more effortful. Initially I was able to build deep friendships. It took longer than I anticipated. That's one of the biggest challenges when you move anywhere, how do you build good, authentic friends and, and create a community around you to support you. Did your organization help you prepare for that side of of life. Those sort of challenges at all? Or you just had to figure it out yourself? I think my company did a great job with helping with all the logistical things in terms of, you know, the visa, the payroll, the, the medical stuff, which actually was super daunting. That's one thing I was like, with all of this private health insurance, was very, confusing at the start. They did a good job with that logistical stuff and just trying to connect me with coworkers that were maybe at a similar age stage or area. I think they did try. that, but I would say that most of the initiative came from me. Like it was a clear thing that I would have to initiate a lot of it, oh, I'm thinking of going here for dinner after work, or, I'm thinking of doing this activity. And so I would definitely have to be the one that drove a lot of the social things. But that's my personality. I like meeting people and doing things. It was clear I had to initiate to cultivate friendships, deeper connections. Right. How did you deal with that reluctance? Did you think, oh, maybe it's me? Or did you go through that mind bending, wondering what's going on? Why is this so tricky? There were moments where I was like, is it me? Am I too much? Do people not do this? But it's all about the place you land and the culture. So what I realized about LA is a lot of logistics come down to traffic, growing up in Melbourne, a lot of people don't even, I no never even drove into our office'cause we took public transport. So it's easier to grab a beer after work because you don't have to worry about driving. And A little bit of the re remuneration around, is it me? It was also very clear that, like what you're saying around scheduling, it was if I don't leave at this time, I'm gonna get stuck in two and a half hours of traffic specifically for LA, it's the logistics. And I think as well when making social plans, like it was hard to have people that lived in other parts of the city. Like we joked you had to live in the Santa Monica West side bubble. You just wouldn't see other people because people would flake if it's too far or too much effort. And that also got a little, took a little getting used to of people saying they'd come and then last minute being like, no, I'm not. This is traffic. Which is fine. But I think part of that is, I was able to understand a little about the place. It's not personal. I could take it personally, but I also recognize that people are just, trying to optimize their own life. I had a very different experience in New York. Oh, tell me about that. In New York people wanted to go out public transport or cabs or availability to move around a place definitely changes things. Where I found it was a lot easier to meet people in New York in a way,'cause it's easy to get around. It's a compact city. There's the subway, there's taxis. And so it had a bit more welcoming vibe for me personally, than LA people are very into the logistical aspect of things. I would love to interview expats in New York to hear their perspective and lifestyle because so far I've spoken to people on the West Coast. Now, just out of interest, did you come across any unexpected challenges as a result of having moved your life here, being from somewhere else with a different accent? Once they dropped their guards, were they embracing you or tentative? I think, it's a mixed bag I've built a lot of incredible friendships there were some people that were tentative and I think maybe it's not a cultural thing, maybe it is, it could also just be a me thing because I am pretty extroverted. I'm pretty out there. And so that would even happen in Australia too, not everyone is gonna be everyone's cup of tea. I remember, sometimes just little comments, maybe from people of, and it wasn't bad, but it's like, oh, you're just being so Australian. There were times I remember at work, people would feel kind of negative or something would go on and I'd be kind of a little bit like, oh, it's okay having a little bit of a different perspective. And then there would sometimes be the occasional, oh, well you're just saying that'cause you're Australian it wasn't meant offensively. I didn't take it offensively, but it was interesting that it was like. me seeing something from a different angle potentially more positive was maybe associated with being Australian'cause Australians are so happy, or, you know, there was, there was a lot of these kind of stereotypes around Australians are so fun and so happy for sure that that came out. Oh I am quite intrigued about anchoring those friendships? Did you have to be quite intentional in building those acquaintances, into deeper friendships, into community? Yeah, definitely. I think probably all people, but for me it's I can have my general friendly persona that's open and friendly and can chit chat to people, which I love but I also have a part of me that just wants deep conversation, deep connection. I'd wanna know people's life story. I'd wanna know all the stuff. Like I don't talk about the weather or whatever. Like I wanna hear, what happened? Relationships where you're at, what do you want? I love the juicy stuff in a way. And I think just being willing to learn that about other people while also sharing that stuff about me just, just built a level of vulnerability. And obviously you can't do that with everyone, but I think about all the friends that I'm still in touch with now, they're the ones we went to vulnerable places together and just allowed ourselves to just show up fully as we are without judgment. And so building that foundation intentionally and consciously is what's made us stay friends. I loved what you said about being vulnerable with people when you felt it was right, I keep saying it's got to be about transparency and if you are hanging out with a bunch of people and they are not, you are not going to get what you need to feed your soul. To find deep friendships, I had to search internally what does that look like? What kind of friendships do I need? I need people who would be open and vulnerable with me. Well, where am I gonna find that? And so I then realized I'm gonna have to throw the net search for friendship far and wide. And that's what I had to do. Do you think your identity, who Trish was before she left Australia, have you changed? A hundred percent. I love Australia and Australia is my home and the US is my home. I consider myself a global citizen. In Australia, even though there was so much authenticity in my friendships and my life, I do think there was a little bit of self authenticity that was missing in how I was running my life. And so I think that that's something I learned when I came over here to the US in a way of actually figuring out who I was. I think moving to another country was that catalyst to be like, okay, I'm away from my parents. I'm away from everything that I know. Like, who really is Trish? And it was moving here. I don't think I would. Be doing it the same way or living the same life if I had have stayed in Australia. I'm trying to understand how that change has manifested itself. After moving here and meeting my husband I had a burnout moment. A quarter life crisis of what is my life about, i've moved from Australia, met this incredible man, I'm getting married, what do I want for my life? Through this process, I ended up getting my master's degree and so that was a whole other crazy tangent that actually transformed my career where I moved more into executive coaching and now has actually influenced the work that I do, with a company that I co-found with my husband. I've grown and shifted because now the type of work that I'm doing just feels so heart centered and service driven and mission driven. Through our company Unlimit Me, we work with young people, high school and college kids, to figure out who they are. That's something I never really did in Australia. I didn't know who I was. What I valued, moving to the US gave me perspective and taught me about resilience and figuring out who I am you know, not just my identity, whether it's my career or as an Australian, but who am I on the inside, in all aspects and it totally shifted. My career changed where now I'm a founder. It shifted how I approached parenting. If I hadn't gone through. This situation. And everything I learned while getting my master's degree, I think I would've been a very different parent it's changed my parenting, it's changed my romantic relationship with my husband. It's changed all my friendships. Like I can honestly say, and this sounds weird, it's not true all the time because we're, we're humans. Nothing's a constant state. But I would say that I'm the happiest in my entire life and I feel that every day. There's more available to me every single day because of the growth I've gone through. That's amazing. Do you think that's also partly to do with the type of people around you? Because I find, for example, the reason why I'm asking you this, for example, the person I am now, I would not have become, had I stayed in England or France what I particularly like about the Americans around me, is the fact that if I have an idea for a business, they would help me antagonize that. Pull it apart, look into it, find what's viable. So many people around willing to say, let me help you. Let's have a workshop. I have something you can use. When I started doing the podcast, I mentioned it. Somebody said, oh, I have a studio you can use the free. And I wasn't quite ready, but then I was thrown into it, I have some microphones. You know, oh, let me put something on your laptop and app to help. And it started happening, all these people who basically are saying, yes, you can. Mm-hmm. Lemme help you. Mm-hmm. How can I be part of that to make that happen? I have not found that. Anywhere else in the world to date. Yeah. It seems to be something about the culture here. I don't know if it's America on a whole, is it just the Californians? Is it just this bit of California? Because we are in the Bay Area, Silicon Valley, there's whole techie, create entrepreneurial, founder spirit. And so I, I wonder for you, has it been mainly internal, discoveries and blossoming or have the people around you helped water that soil as well? Yeah, it's definitely both. And when my husband and I toy with, will we have a move to Australia? And one of the things that you've touched on so beautifully is the entrepreneurial spirit here we're building a business because there is a real willingness to show up for one another. You can do it, you can do anything. And I definitely think it's heavily California skewed, not that that wasn't there in New York. My experience in New York is, it was definitely there too. A little bit of a different culture. Here it's so tech heavy, but I would definitely say that's one of the things here is it's like just the belief that you can get up and go. People try to make it easy for you and I think in Australia that people are friends and wanna help you. But if you just look at the economies of scale, the population of California is already more than Australia, right? Australia has 25 million people. California has 32 million, that's just one state the mobility to start something, to run with it, to get the resources is just so much easier than in Australia. So I do think it's the external environment has had a huge shift I don't know if I would've started a company in Australia unless it was solo entrepreneurship because it doesn't necessarily, even though things are shifting and becoming entrepreneurial, it's not the same as what we've got here. I have to ask this question. Based on what we've just discussed. The answer might be yes, however, that's not always the case. America's often. Described as the land of opportunities. You could go to America and do anything would you say that's the case? What's your slant on that? Personally for if I'm just facing it on my experience, a hundred percent, yes. However, what I know about the country, is how stark the equality is. Mm-hmm. I think it's easy for me to say, coming into a place of privilege where I had a job and a lot of my visa immigration things were handled. And yes, I had a soft landing but then you look at, everything happening politically right now, everything with different states, the disparity between states, in terms of policies, economics jobs, opportunities, I don't know if it is the same as it was 15 years ago, with the current administration, I don't know whether it will be the same, but for me personally, the hope of the American Dream. The hope of the opportunity is still something that makes me wanna show up. It's still something we have to keep promoting and working towards and just trying to find a way where that opportunity is truly available for everyone mm-hmm. That's beautifully said and leads me nicely. Into a part of the conversation I call for the woman just landing. Mm-hmm. Here in the US or any new home away from home. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's a gift from us to every woman who's just arrived. Mm-hmm. Imagine a woman just stepped off the airplane with her passport her suitcase stepping into what she hopes will be a new life. What do you want her to know about herself, about belonging, about what's possible? Maybe you are even talking to your newly arrived self. What would you say? I think the biggest thing is to just stay open, loving, compassionate, especially'cause there's gonna be moments where you feel out of your depth. You might wanna go home. Love on yourself when you have those moments. Take care of yourself listen to yourself and be compassionate with your experience.'cause not every day is perfect. Not every day is gonna feel good and maybe there'll be a time where it doesn't feel like you're in the right trust that, listen to yourself be curious. Right? The openness is about, be curious about. What's going on for you on the inside. But the biggest thing about the openness is also be curious about what's happening all around you, right? Not everything is what it seems, but be curious about people around you, the places around you, exploring new things. And that openness really just has to be grounded in the, the letting go of shoulds. It should be a certain way, but it's like, how can I just experience all of this, all of the stuff around me as well as everything I'm feeling as I'm going in this process. That's beautiful. You've just raised a little nugget that I want to dig deeper into. Can you give us some examples of how you were able to love on yourself? Because we know, homesickness. Mm-hmm. You're gonna feel a little bit isolated, which brings on loneliness and if you don't take care of that, it can lead to cabin fever moment of I wanna go home. This isn't working. This is too hard. I I haven't found the right job yet. I don't know if this is gonna work. Or, there are so many different emotions that we'll run into that's inevitable. So how did you love on yourself? Can you recall? Yeah, I think the biggest thing is for me, I know very early on, but it was like just listening, this is gonna sound odd, but just listening to the little voice inside. And what I mean by that is, I remember for me, there'd be moments where I'd be like, oh my God, I'm so lonely. Like everyone's busy. Australia's not up yet. I can't talk to any of my friends there. Like what do I do? And I remember having a moment of just like even just asking myself like, what do I need right now? And it might just be something little like, sunshine, you know, go outside. Like I might, I was inside the house and it's like I can't be inside, go out. So it was just little things of like, okay, I'm gonna go out and have some sunshine. Maybe it would be go and explore something. Even if I even didn't speak to people. Like in LA I remember just hiring a car and just driving up the PCH to Malibu. It was like, go experience something new. So it, I would just have those little inflection moments of, this feels hard, what do I need in the moment? And my go-to thing often was just go to the beach. Like, just go to the places that feel like, like home in a way. But like that give me a sense of connection that give me a sense of gratitude, that give me a sense of everything's gonna be okay. So for me it was those things. Or maybe it was like, go and get your nails done. But it was really about, I think the bigger moments for me when loneliness hit, it was always a, a nature or explore was my natural thing that that got me back but there were times too where it was like, go to Target.'cause Target here is so different to Target in Australia and I just love to go and see how much stuff was in the store. Like it's hilarious. I wanted to ask you this earlier, but I just kept forgetting because I'm having so much fun exploring all these topics with you. How did you end up in Marin County near San Francisco? It was a COVID decision I wanted a more authentic, grounded childhood for my daughter. And I wanted space for her to be outside. It was like, where are we gonna go? And we were looking for schools and wanted something for preschool that was a little bit, you know, alternative, that had outdoor space. And so we actually found a school in Marin. And so we were like, there was nothing holding us to San Mateo, so we just were like, let's just move there. I basically live in a place similar to where I grew up. We have a creek behind our house where I grew up in Badger Creek, Hillsville Australia. I used to play in the creek, you know, and my daughter was doing the same thing. So it's one of those things where I think unconsciously, I want her to have a similar childhood experience to me where you're out in nature. Like her school does hiking, they're big into gardening, they're big into art. They're into a lot of things I loved as a child. That's basically what brought us here. It's such a blessing to have found that. Not everybody gets to do that. I love that story. Now that you've moved, built a home away from home. You are, it sounds like you are ecstatically happy with your choice. Mm-hmm. No regrets. Would you say that's the case? That's definitely the case. Before I moved to the us, my parents were immigrants in Australia and I always had the itch to move somewhere else. Like my mom left Indonesia to move to Australia. My dad left the Netherlands to move to Australia. So in a way, there was always a desire to live somewhere else. Mm-hmm. And then meeting my husband, my husband's actually Indian as well, so he's an immigrant as well. But I think what we love is we've just created this life that. I don't know. It has all the good stuff we love. We loved our time in LA, we loved our time in New York and there were different life phases. But what I love about this phase right now is that we do have the luxury to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Surrounded by like-minded people. Personally, I love California I'm happy we're here. Do you feel Aussie or, American it's, I would say I'm both and I'm everything. It's funny to Americans. I'm Australian though. And to my Aussie friends, yes, I'm Aussie to them, but they do joke that I'm American'cause my accent's got a little diluted. Yeah. I have to turn it off and on a little bit. Sometimes I have the American Rs, like the Rs. It comes out sometimes where I'll be like, you know, you wanna go get the water? It's like, I dunno. Sometimes it just will come out randomly. And I have to remind myself it's water. Water. We don't say Rs in Australia. We'll be like, do you wanna get the water? Like, it's like a hard R has snuck into my, uh, pronunciation. But I would say, I'd say both. Both. All like, yeah. And is that the same for where you call home and where you, and where you feel you belong? I think I, I, it's a good, that's a good question actually. That's when I'm like, I think at the end of the day home, this is gonna sound kind of corny, but home is wherever my husband and daughter is. And it's like the places, yes, the places are, are there. And I always think Australia will be my home because it was my home. Um, and I do, I would love to move back there one day when I'm older and retired. But I do think, yeah, the US is my home for now, but I think that they're, they're both always gonna be part of me. Okay, lovely. And my very last question for you, it's been a beautiful session. I've thoroughly enjoyed chatting with you and sipping our tea. Are there any personal reflections or okay, let's, let's do this. What do you know now that you wish you knew then? Looking back at your old self. I mean, all I would say to her now is it's all gonna be okay and it's all perfect. So I'd say to maybe that little girl at times, even though I loved where I grew up, there was times where I probably didn't feel that I fully belonged coming from a multicultural family. But what I would say to her is, I would say, it's all gonna be fine. You're gonna find your place, and your place isn't just a physical place. It's a, it's a place in here. And so that's what I would tell her, and that's what I would tell anyone that you know has been an expat or is gonna move, is that it's not just about the external, it's also about the feeling inside. Beautifully put. thank you, Trish. It has been a delight. I've learned quite a few things from you as well, so thank you Yes. For spending this time with me and the expat women listening, We had a trying start this morning. Trish. What are you gonna do for the rest of the day? It's so funny. I'm gonna go for a hike and then tonight uh, happy hour hangout with my community of moms here, um, in my daughter's class that have also become good friends. So that's, that's what I'm gonna be doing. Three main things that I'm going to remember from my conversation with Trish, and it's really hard to just pin down just three because everything she said was so rich. But the first thing, is around her identity because Trish was absolutely a hundred percent certain. This move to the USA it's changed everything about me, fundamentally how I move through the world. This is what I'm getting from her and this is my me paraphrasing. It changes how I go through the world, the way I parent or my relationship with my husband, uh, the friends I have the authenticity in those friendships. Moving to the US gave me the perspective and taught me about resilience and figuring out who I am, not just my identity in terms of my career or my nationality, but who I am on the inside side. And the second thing I am listening to a woman who says, not every day is going to be perfect. Not everything is going to work out at the speed that you want it. The friends aren't going to come exactly the way you want but it pays off if you remain steadfast and hopeful and you feel like you are in the right environment. If you're not in the right environment, it's okay to change. She changed from LA to New York to the Bay Area. You've gotta go looking for what feeds your soul, and at some point understanding what it is that feeds your soul. Third and final thing that I will remember from Trish is when you're going through the rough patch and you feel that strong sense of isolation. And you don't know what to do with yourself, don't stay inside. Hire a car, go for a drive. Go for a walk. Go and get your nails done. Go on the beach. Wherever you are, find one good thing every week that you enjoy about your new environment. That's what I'm taking away. I would love to hear from you what you gleaned from this conversation with Expat Woman, Trish. Leave a comment below and share the link. That's it from me. Enjoy whatever you are planning to do today. Bye-bye.